Me vs. the Machine

"Formal education will make you a living; self-education will make you a fortune".

-- Jim Rohn: Entrepreneur, author, and motivational speaker

I was recently sent this quote and could not shake the feeling that it came to me at just the right time. It's funny how you find ways to find the meaning behind even the simplest things when you're searching for answers.

I have been battling for some time with the struggle of going to school for Business while actively pursuing my goal of becoming an established Fashion Designer. It's a hard blow when you finally do the math and realize that they really aren't enough hours in the day for you to accomplish all that you want without something else being sacrificed. That something that feels like its being sacrificed is more quality time with my boys.

I always find time to do the routine things with them such as being chauffeur, chef, and fixer of all things at the last minute, but those things don't bond us, so much as they are what needs to be done. It's the moments of sitting on the couch and watching a movie together or going to the park that brings us closer. Those unexpected moments of hugs and "I love you" that you didn't have to initiate. I not only cherish those, but need to make more of an effort to provide the opportunity for them to happen.

So while I may battle with how to fit in time to do all the things I would like to do, there are some things that are non-negotiable and some that I have control over. I value the need for education, but also feel that there are those that soak up knowledge by living what they want to be. I want to be a Fashion Designer and yet I spend more time traveling down paths that only lead me back to where I started. All roads lead to me knowing what I wanted all along. I realize now that I let fear rule me with an iron fist and that my creativity was set aside and viewed as more of a hobby than a need.

I need fashion. I need the feel of fabrics in my hands, a sewing pedal at my foot and a desire to let my creativity take whatever shape or form that it chooses. I need to stop trying to "be" and just being. I need to believe in my own ability to pick and choose what roads I will travel going forward. There are some that I will take that will be scenic, smooth and have all the proper signs to tell me when and where to turn and how much farther to the next stop. And there will be some that will be bumpy, overcrowded and misleading. I know that I will be taking a risk by choosing to make my own map, but it's one that I've steered clear from for far too long.

Sincerely,

Ebony
(Conquering the world, one stylish step at a time)