Learning to Live in the Present

First, I'd like to apologize for those people who loyally follow me on this blog and to those who stop by to read. I am disappointed that I never even took the time to post at least once during the month of May. That goes to show how much this post is really needed.

In a quest to keep a promise to my boys of buying a house of our own this year, I have become somewhat obsessed about it, which has caused me to lose focus on other things of importance. I have let other things go with the mindset that once we move into our house, that I would be able to focus on them again. I now realize how silly that train of thought has been given that there will always be other things that will come up and I have to learn to just make it fit around my other priorities.

One of my main priorities regardless of when I purchase a home, is to get our current home organized. Everything that I have read always seems to point back to the fact that a cluttered house equals a cluttered mind and I couldn't agree with that more. If I don't get things organized now and implement a regular system of keeping things organized, then I will ultimately bring this same clutter to our next place, which would start the viscious cycle over again.

I use to think that being a procrastinator was okay as long as I was able to get things done and produce the same results as if I had done it right away. Unfortunately, procrastination gives room for the unexpected things that always come up, to have a field day and wreck even more havoc on an otherwise simple situation.

I went to a first-time homebuyer's class yesterday and they also had people who were trying to save their home in attendance. It was heartbreaking to hear the stories of people who worked hard to attain the American Dream, only to find out that they had been misled and now might lose their home. But as heartbreaking as it was, not one of them seemed to have the outlook that this was the end for them. They knew where they went wrong and just wanted someone to point them in the right direction so they could keep moving forward. I found it both eye-opening and inspirational. These people tried something and it didn't work out, but yet they didn't let it beat them or define who they are. They made my pity-parties I've been having lately seem more pathetic than what I suspected they already were.

All my life I've been waiting for things to be as close to perfect for me to try new things. No matter what the situation, I have always managed to convince myself why that particular moment wasn't the right one in order for me to move ahead. Well, it's a new day and I'm tired of hoping that the future will bring better results in order to make the present more liveable. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, so living as if tomorrow will come around and be better, only makes you comfortable in the present which means you will never take risks that are sometimes necessary to move you closer to where you are meant to be.

This all being said, I will not only start living in the present, I will now do things that make the present day what I want it to be. Besides my passion for designing, I have always had a love for dance. When I was younger, I had my heart set on taking dance lessons, but the costs couldn't be justified. Over the years, I would fondly remember the times that my sister and I would make up dances to songs and brush it off as just something we did to pass the time away. It has only been recently that I have realized how much I really want to pursue dancing, but again, I let my own fears and doubts creep in and prevent me from pursuing it.

Yesterday, I got over that fear and picked up the phone to set up a dance lesson. They'll teach me a variety of ballroom dances and then my instructor and I will figure out where my true passion is. I already have an idea, but we'll see if his insight matches my vision. I've also decided to stop depending on whether or not I'm able to make it to my sewing lesson as the determining factor of whether or not I sew on a regular basis. I took lessons starting in Jr. High through High Shcool and always had a love for it. I know I'm a little rusty, but that's what practice is for.

Sincerely,

Ebony
(Conquering the world, one stylish step at a time)

A game of Tug and War

I started this blog as a means to expressing my journey to launching a successful clothing line while working a full time job and raising two intelligent and loving boys that I am proud to call my sons.

It has now become an accountability that my friends and family have begun to hold me to. Not a day goes by that someone doesn't ask me when I'm going to make my next post. I have been in a creative funk lately which has led to me putting off a lot of things, my blog being one of them.

This past Saturday I took a sewing lesson with someone I admire and am aspiring to mimick talent-wise. It was a great lesson in that it reminded me of how much I love to sew and how relaxing it is for me (even if my attempts at following the circular lines were a bit off). The hours flew by like minutes and before I knew it, I had been there for 4 hours. This lesson reaffirmed the saying of "Do what you love, and the money will come". My current problem is that I have so many ideas, that my own brain has somewhat paralyzed me from being able to do just do something. I spend too much time thinking about what should be the first product, that I now find myself with no product at all. this is far from what I envisioned when I decided to pursue the clothing line with all the passion that I have been suppressing for some time now.

So now I'm left with the task of trying to ignore the part of me that likes to plan every single detail and give the creative side of me the chance to prove that it has everything under control. How do you find a balance of being creative while sensible and sensible but flexible? This lack of balance has begun to affect my sleep, so I know I need to figure it out and soon before I'm too exhausted to think or be creative.

Who knew that being creative would be both a gift and a curse? I know I'm not the first person to go through this and that wallowing in pity only delays the process even further. Somewhere inside me lies the answer, I just have to figure out whether or not my creative or sensible side will be the one to find it.

Sincerely,

Ebony
(Conquering the world, one stylish step at a time)

Overcoming "Me"

"History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats".

B. C. Forbes

I had both a good and bad day today. Since this blog's purpose is to mainly focus on my triumphs regarding the startup of my clothing line, I will not go into detail regarding my personal life. What I will say is that the bad part of my day left such a sour taste in my mouth, that it has made me realize that no matter how hard you try to make everyone happy, there will always be someone who will do their best to try and bring you down to their level.

As painful as it is, I have to start believing in the advice that I give to my own sons. "No matter who you are as a person, someone will like you for who you are, and someone will not like you for who you are, so don't change". As always, it's been easier to give than to live. Unfortunately, I will have to make this my mantra if I'm ever going to be able to fully put myself out there for other people to judge my designs. My quest for perfection while not being criticized has backed me into a corner that I no longer want to call home.

I no longer want to conform to what I think will make everyone else happy. That way of life has crippled me and I no longer want to be a victim. I have too much talent to let it just sit idle. I have goals in life that don't involve me wallowing in self-pity. I have already accomplished so many of my goals that for me to think that I will be anything less but successful at this, is an insult to all of my planning.

I need to start viewing obstacles as things that are preparing me to be more prepared for the next step. Of course there will be moments where everything falls into place and life seems like it just coudn't get any better. But, there will also be times when I will wonder what went wrong so fast. I just have to be ready to bask in the sunlight of my accomplishments and face the heat of my mistakes. I'm ready for both.

Sincerely,

Ebony
(Conquering the world, one stylish step at a time)

Fabrics, Buttons and Thread, Oh My!

"The sad truth is that opportunity doesn't knock twice. You can put things off until tomorrow but tomorrow may never come. Where will you be a few years down the line. Will it be everything you dreamed of. We seal our fate with the choices we take, but don't give a second thought to the chances we take".

~ Gloria Estefan

This past Saturday, I had the pleasure of doing something I haven't done in awhile. I not only went to a fabric store, but I also purchased two bolts of fabric that were so full of color and life, that they inspired me to draw again. I forgot how fun it is to try to recreate fabric through the use of markers. I got so involved with trying to match the fabric perfectly, they I went past my goal of spending a hour in my sewing studio. Luckily I have a great supporter in my boyfriend who cooked dinner while I designed.

Here is a draft of the sketch that I just couldn't walk away from:


One thing that allowed me to just draw was the fact that I didn't beat myself up for not making sure my hands, feet and face were perfect on the figure. I can remember being in my Fashion Illustration class and getting frustrated by the details of everything other than the design that I was trying to transfer from my head to the paper. I recently came across some Fashion Croquis that I will use to make sure my portfolio looks more professional, but the design itself will be what most of my focus is on.

It's amazing the feeling you get when you allow yourself to do what you do best and find resources to help you with those things that aren't within your skill set. I had been putting off going into my sewing studio because I felt like I wasn't ready. I felt like I had to know how to sew like an expert and draw like an experienced artist. Once I let go of my own limitations and realized that what I know today will help me know more tomorrow, I was able to just do what felt natural.

I know that I'm a little rusty since I haven't given Fashion Design the same attention as I do everything else, but I also know that my passion and desire to succeed are so deeply embedded in me, that I have to just do something. There will never be a perfect time, just the time that I dedicate to it.

This is my time to take a chance and create my own moment of Aha!

Sincerely,

Ebony
(Conquering the world, one stylish step at a time)

Survey Says

In an effort to keep moving forward and in the right direction, I have come up with a survey to help me get a better idea of what people are looking for in terms of clothing. Please visit the following link My Fashion Style to complete the survey.

Sincerely,

Ebony
(Conquering the world, one stylish step at a time)

Me vs. the Machine

"Formal education will make you a living; self-education will make you a fortune".

-- Jim Rohn: Entrepreneur, author, and motivational speaker

I was recently sent this quote and could not shake the feeling that it came to me at just the right time. It's funny how you find ways to find the meaning behind even the simplest things when you're searching for answers.

I have been battling for some time with the struggle of going to school for Business while actively pursuing my goal of becoming an established Fashion Designer. It's a hard blow when you finally do the math and realize that they really aren't enough hours in the day for you to accomplish all that you want without something else being sacrificed. That something that feels like its being sacrificed is more quality time with my boys.

I always find time to do the routine things with them such as being chauffeur, chef, and fixer of all things at the last minute, but those things don't bond us, so much as they are what needs to be done. It's the moments of sitting on the couch and watching a movie together or going to the park that brings us closer. Those unexpected moments of hugs and "I love you" that you didn't have to initiate. I not only cherish those, but need to make more of an effort to provide the opportunity for them to happen.

So while I may battle with how to fit in time to do all the things I would like to do, there are some things that are non-negotiable and some that I have control over. I value the need for education, but also feel that there are those that soak up knowledge by living what they want to be. I want to be a Fashion Designer and yet I spend more time traveling down paths that only lead me back to where I started. All roads lead to me knowing what I wanted all along. I realize now that I let fear rule me with an iron fist and that my creativity was set aside and viewed as more of a hobby than a need.

I need fashion. I need the feel of fabrics in my hands, a sewing pedal at my foot and a desire to let my creativity take whatever shape or form that it chooses. I need to stop trying to "be" and just being. I need to believe in my own ability to pick and choose what roads I will travel going forward. There are some that I will take that will be scenic, smooth and have all the proper signs to tell me when and where to turn and how much farther to the next stop. And there will be some that will be bumpy, overcrowded and misleading. I know that I will be taking a risk by choosing to make my own map, but it's one that I've steered clear from for far too long.

Sincerely,

Ebony
(Conquering the world, one stylish step at a time)

C’mon, Ride It...The Great Brazil Express

C’mon, Ride It

I came across this great travel opportunity and wanted to share it. I will have to add this to my vision board of something I would like to enjoy some day.