April Showers Brings One Beautiful May Flower

"And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."

~ Anais Nin

While I like to think that I possess many talents, sadly, having a green thumb hasn't been one of them. So when I purchased my home back in 2009 and saw that it had no flowers for me to destroy, I was elated. That was until I saw other houses like mine with beautiful flowers and saw how much curb appeal it added. So last year I set out on a quest to start adding some appeal to my curb.

Given the fact that I knew my track record with flowers, I decided to start in my backyard first, that way only I and my boys would know my triumphant victory of usual defeat. I found a section in my yard that seemed to just be calling for a flower bed and began taking up weeds, turning the soil and carefully planting the tulip seeds I had chosen. I stepped back, wished my seeds good luck and turned my sights on other parts of the yard.

Fast forward to most recently when I decided it definitely was not going to snow again and it was time for me to start fixing the yard up for spring. In the process of picking up broken branches and removing leaves that never truly seem to go away, something bright caught my attention out of the corner of my eye. At first I thought something had blown into my flower bed, but as I got closer, I was greeted with the most beautiful sight ever. There stood two beautiful tulips peaking out from the ground. Given the horrible winter we've had, I had forgotten that I had even planted seeds the year before. But there was my proof right in front of me in the most vibrant color imaginable.

After I remembered that I have neighbors that can see me in my own yard, I stopped doing my happy dance and decided to have my boys share in the excitement. I was a little surprised that they didn't feel the need to break out into the running man like I did, but it was still a nice moment. I was able to use that tulip as a lesson in how sometimes beautiful things take longer to appear, but once they do, it's well worth the wait.

That tulip also taught me a lesson. I tend to be impatient sometimes. I want results now or I'm a little bothered. I've learned to pick and choose my most impatient moments, but it's still a work in progress. But seeing that flower that day really made me stop and think. How many things have I passed up because I thought they would take too long or that the effort I put into it wasn't worth the result? How many times have I tried to take the easy route only to get sub par results, when taking a more involved approach, while time-consuming, would have benefited me far more? How many beautiful moments have I let slip away?

So as I sit in my sunroom/sewing room and find myself at a loss for how I'm going to start actually doing fashion instead of just talking about it, I look out my window at the tulip and cut myself some slack. There is no easy way to do what I want to do and that has caused me to be in a paralyzed state both creatively and productively. For some reason I've held myself to a standard that unless it's the best of me, I don't want to put anything out there. But in thinking that way, I've allowed myself to stay safe and only dream of my possibilities instead of living them.

So instead of waiting for everything to fall into place, I'm going to actually sew something. If it takes me longer than usual because I'm still working 40 hours a week, a Mom 24/7, a friend, a sister and a daughter, then so be it. The finished product will be well worth it because I will have not given up or tossed it aside because it didn't give me immediate satisfaction. And if one week I'm drawing things left and right and the next week I barely crack open my drawing book, then that's okay too. But to not start anything at all, is far more alarming and a pattern I need to break.

So in taking a cue from my tulips, I will remember that there are beautiful things worth waiting for. There are things in life that will take longer than you want them to, but will be worth the wait. There will be moments where you want to give up because you feel like you have nothing left to give. But for each of those moments, there will also be times where things seem to fall into place, opportunities banging at your door, and the sweet smell of success is tucked away in a small part of your yard greeting you every time you look out your window.

Sincerely,

Ebony

(Conquering the world, one stylish step at a time)

Fabrics, Buttons and Thread, Oh My!

"The sad truth is that opportunity doesn't knock twice. You can put things off until tomorrow but tomorrow may never come. Where will you be a few years down the line. Will it be everything you dreamed of. We seal our fate with the choices we take, but don't give a second thought to the chances we take".

~ Gloria Estefan

This past Saturday, I had the pleasure of doing something I haven't done in awhile. I not only went to a fabric store, but I also purchased two bolts of fabric that were so full of color and life, that they inspired me to draw again. I forgot how fun it is to try to recreate fabric through the use of markers. I got so involved with trying to match the fabric perfectly, they I went past my goal of spending a hour in my sewing studio. Luckily I have a great supporter in my boyfriend who cooked dinner while I designed.

Here is a draft of the sketch that I just couldn't walk away from:


One thing that allowed me to just draw was the fact that I didn't beat myself up for not making sure my hands, feet and face were perfect on the figure. I can remember being in my Fashion Illustration class and getting frustrated by the details of everything other than the design that I was trying to transfer from my head to the paper. I recently came across some Fashion Croquis that I will use to make sure my portfolio looks more professional, but the design itself will be what most of my focus is on.

It's amazing the feeling you get when you allow yourself to do what you do best and find resources to help you with those things that aren't within your skill set. I had been putting off going into my sewing studio because I felt like I wasn't ready. I felt like I had to know how to sew like an expert and draw like an experienced artist. Once I let go of my own limitations and realized that what I know today will help me know more tomorrow, I was able to just do what felt natural.

I know that I'm a little rusty since I haven't given Fashion Design the same attention as I do everything else, but I also know that my passion and desire to succeed are so deeply embedded in me, that I have to just do something. There will never be a perfect time, just the time that I dedicate to it.

This is my time to take a chance and create my own moment of Aha!

Sincerely,

Ebony
(Conquering the world, one stylish step at a time)

I just want to draw!

Between talks with a graphic designer, a lawyer, online school, work and my most important job of being a mother to two boys, drawing has seem to have taken a back seat.

The creative part of me just wants to sit and draw and let my hands translate for my imagination. The business part of me understands that you have to be patient and make sure you protect yourself as well as your ideas.

Right now I'm trying to find the balance of the two.  I want to be able to share my ideas, but I also want to make sure that I'm given credit for what I've worked so hard for.

So for now, I let my ideas dance around my head and onto the pages of my "Big Black Book of Ideas" until they are able to take the stage.

Finding balance always seems to be a resounding theme these days.  Everyone wants to have it all without having to sacrifice too much.  I'm guilty of that as well.  I want everything to fall into place since I can't find time to manage too many interruptions. If it were only up to me, I wouldn't have to worry about that, but unfortunately, life always has it's own plans and I have to fnd a way to either roll with the punches, or duck faster.  :-)

Sincerely,

Ebony

(Conquering the world, one stylish step at a time)