"Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream."
~ Lao Tzu
Not too long ago, I was attempting to organize some paperwork and came across some short stories, essays and poems that I have written through the years. One of the essays that caught my attention was the one I had written to go along with my college application. I began the essay describing the scene of a fashion show. I made sure to give vivid detail in order to have the reader feel like they were actually there when they closed their eyes and let the words penetrate their imagination. Tonight, I felt like I was seeing my essay come to life.
The scene was set at Bryant Park in New York for Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week, under a tent filled with people from all walks of life with one common thread amongst us all...the love of fashion. It's amazing how when something you dreamed about since you were a little girl comes to life and the overwhelming emotion that takes over you. Driving in the car, I was excited, but calm. The closer we got, my heart started to beat faster and my mind started to race. Walking through the entrance, I felt like my knees were going to buckle leaving me to depend on my killer six inch heels for support.
Once inside, I felt like a kid in a candy store. I barely noticed the cars that were on display. My attention was being diverted to the outfits that people chose to wear. Anyone can wear clothes, but it takes a certain skill to be able to add your personal stamp to it and own it. Being able to see the confidence that these people had made me realize that I need to branch out a little more when it comes to dressing. Time to shake things up a bit :-)
With only a few minutes before we were to be ushered inside to take our seats, my business partner and the man working magic behind the camera, Diallo Ferguson, left to take his position in order to record the show. Oh, did I mention that I'm now a Fashion Correspondent for "A Passion 4 Fashion". It's still in the early stages, but given what we were able to accomplish at our first event, the best is yet to come!
After some more "you look fabulous", we were ushered past a crowd and led into where the ARISE Magazine African Collective Fashion Show would take place. One woman I met was so overwhelmed, that she began to cry. It was endearing to see that I wasn't the only one who was filled with emotion. After what seemed an eternity, the lights dimmed and music began pouring through the speakers. It was a hypnotic blend of drums and voices calling out to the heavens.
And then the spotlights came on and models for Black Coffee put their stamp on the runway adorned in quilted coats that while oversized, looked like they could be worn by anyone. Immediately following their collection, Loin Cloth & Ashes took the stage and showed us that a little splash of color is sometimes the accessory that seems to just complete an outfit. And for the finale, designer Deola Sagoe had the crowd jumping to its feet to celebrate her collection that included pieces with strong silhouettes, beading and fraying. At one point, the models were so in sync with the heavy beating of the drums, that it felt like the crowd would explode from the intensity.
The models made one more go on the runway as the finale. With the last model safely tucked backstage, the rush to the runway began with everyone either trying to accidentally bump into the celebrity that they have been eyeing during the show, or just trying to exit and head to the after party.
As part of my new endeavor as Fashion Correspondent, I was rushing to interview Boston-based designer Prajje Jean-Baptiste of Prajje Couture, to get his views on the show. Standing on the steps outside the tent with a mic in my hand and the wind trying to become my best friend, I gave my first interview and loved every minute of it. Videos and tons of pictures will be posted soon, so stay tuned for that.
With more shows to cover and more designers to interview, this trip is only the beginning of more things to come.
Sincerely,
Ebony
"Conquering the world, one stylish step at a time"
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
A "Precious" Attitude
The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace from that day. We cannot change our past, we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing that we can do is play on the one string that we have and this string is, Attitude. I am convinced that life is ten percent what happens to me and ninety percent how I react to it. And so it is with you....We are in charge of our Attitudes.
-- Charles Swindoll
Have you ever had one of those days where it seems like everything is falling into place and all the signs that you've prayed for seem to be flashing so bright, that you would have to be blind not to notice them? It seems like I have been having those a lot lately.
Not too long ago, I purchased an audio book (I have a long commute, so I figured this would help the drive as well as help me gain some insight) called Steering by Starlight by Martha Beck. When I first listened to the Cd's, it was more of a slight shake in terms of wanting to find my true destiny. The second time I listened to them, it was like an elephant standing in the room who kept staring at me wondering when I was going to make a move. I am currently listening to them now and it has now become the slap in the face when you realize that something that you've been looking for has been right there in front of you all along.
While the Cd's have been helpful in terms of slapping me around a bit, it's been other things along the way that have also helped me to find that inner voice that I seem to have gotten so good at ignoring. After seeing the movie "Precious" a couple of weeks ago, I started to feel guilty for every moment of self-pity I have ever had. While I know we're all entitled to our moments of "woe is me", seeing that movie made me realize that it's up to me whether or not I want to be a victim or a victor.
It's easy to let your thoughts get the best of you and let fear take center stage. It's funny to me when I realize how many things I've missed out on because I was too scared to take a chance or worried about failing. The sad thing is that I've failed simply by not doing them. I'm not saying I'm about to jump out of airplanes or buying a snake as a pet to prove I'm strong, just that I'm learning to let go of fearing the unknown.
I recently attended an event and usually I'm always looking for someone to go and for the first time, I just purchased the tickets and went by myself. Now, I wasn't completely fearless since a friend of mine ended up attending the second portion of the event, but it was still different for me to just drive, park and show up by myself. I even got up the nerve to talk to people I didn't know :-) All joking aside, it's little things like this that add up to me shaking things up and not letting fear take control.
Now my next task is to release the fear of putting myself out there and starting my clothing line. With the help of a friend, I came up with a great name for the first collection which goes along perfectly with where I am right now. I just need to take the time to let the ideas out of my head and put them on paper so I can start having them made.
I know once I change my attitude about myself and my abilities, that the possibilities are endless. Maybe I need to get an attitude with myself for not having a fearless attitude...or maybe I'll just remember the movie "Precious" and how my attitude was before I saw the movie and how it was after. Having a "Precious" Attitude towards life will definitely keep me focused on what's important and learning to let the other stuff fall to the side instead of blocking my path.
Sincerely,
Ebony
(Conquering the world, one stylish step at a time...and with a new attitude to boot)
-- Charles Swindoll
Have you ever had one of those days where it seems like everything is falling into place and all the signs that you've prayed for seem to be flashing so bright, that you would have to be blind not to notice them? It seems like I have been having those a lot lately.
Not too long ago, I purchased an audio book (I have a long commute, so I figured this would help the drive as well as help me gain some insight) called Steering by Starlight by Martha Beck. When I first listened to the Cd's, it was more of a slight shake in terms of wanting to find my true destiny. The second time I listened to them, it was like an elephant standing in the room who kept staring at me wondering when I was going to make a move. I am currently listening to them now and it has now become the slap in the face when you realize that something that you've been looking for has been right there in front of you all along.
While the Cd's have been helpful in terms of slapping me around a bit, it's been other things along the way that have also helped me to find that inner voice that I seem to have gotten so good at ignoring. After seeing the movie "Precious" a couple of weeks ago, I started to feel guilty for every moment of self-pity I have ever had. While I know we're all entitled to our moments of "woe is me", seeing that movie made me realize that it's up to me whether or not I want to be a victim or a victor.
It's easy to let your thoughts get the best of you and let fear take center stage. It's funny to me when I realize how many things I've missed out on because I was too scared to take a chance or worried about failing. The sad thing is that I've failed simply by not doing them. I'm not saying I'm about to jump out of airplanes or buying a snake as a pet to prove I'm strong, just that I'm learning to let go of fearing the unknown.
I recently attended an event and usually I'm always looking for someone to go and for the first time, I just purchased the tickets and went by myself. Now, I wasn't completely fearless since a friend of mine ended up attending the second portion of the event, but it was still different for me to just drive, park and show up by myself. I even got up the nerve to talk to people I didn't know :-) All joking aside, it's little things like this that add up to me shaking things up and not letting fear take control.
Now my next task is to release the fear of putting myself out there and starting my clothing line. With the help of a friend, I came up with a great name for the first collection which goes along perfectly with where I am right now. I just need to take the time to let the ideas out of my head and put them on paper so I can start having them made.
I know once I change my attitude about myself and my abilities, that the possibilities are endless. Maybe I need to get an attitude with myself for not having a fearless attitude...or maybe I'll just remember the movie "Precious" and how my attitude was before I saw the movie and how it was after. Having a "Precious" Attitude towards life will definitely keep me focused on what's important and learning to let the other stuff fall to the side instead of blocking my path.
Sincerely,
Ebony
(Conquering the world, one stylish step at a time...and with a new attitude to boot)
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
The Power of Words and the Strength of Actions
"Do not wait; the time will never be "just right". Start where you are and work with whatever tools you may have in your command, and better tools will be found as you go along."
~Napoleon Hill
So once again, it has been awhile since I have posted to my blog and rather than give my usual apologies and fall into the trap of possibly not posting again for awhile, I will instead say that I have seen the errors of my ways and will work to be more diligent about posting.
It's amazing how powerful words can be in helping you to overcome obstacles, refocus on what's important, or see something that you weren't able to see while you were living your life. I have always been a fond believer of writing down how you feel which is why I started this blog in the first place. I wanted this to be my place of refuge where I could write down the fears that I have when it comes to pursuing my dreams, the accomplishments I make when I let go of that fear and take a chance, and the setbacks that I might experience along the way.
That being said, I always felt that whatever I wrote had to be perfect. It had to have this profound feeling to it in order for me to feel that the message had been conveyed the way I thought it should be. Having the mentality that it had to be "perfect" has prevented me from posting some stuff that I now realize is amazing just because it came from my thoughts and how I feel about certain things. Waiting around for things to be perfect and for me to have accomplished a certain thing only leads to these long gaps between my posts. I can't expect people to support and encourage me when I'm not giving them insight as to where I'm at in the process.
While looking to purchase my home, one of my main requests was to have a space that I could solely dedicate as an office/sewing space. While I would have loved a large space, the space in the house I ended up purchasing wasn't big, but I knew that it had potential. Unfortunately, it became the catch all room for when other rooms were being utilized or when company was coming over and I could just close the door and pretend it didn't exist.
Yesterday I sat in that room and saw that not only was I cluttering up a room with unnecessary items, I was also blocking the one place where my creativity was supposed to be allowed to explore and not be held back. I've been debating on what paint color to choose to the point that there is no paint on the wall. I've been deciding on the perfect desk to get to the point that my sewing machine is still in it's carrying case and the folding table has become a second make shift catch all space. I went to Ikea yesterday in an attempt to purchase a desk and while I saw a couple of nice ones, my mind kept going back to the clutter that was already in the office, which made it harder to imagine anything in there.
So the plan for this week is to tackle the office head on. A place for everything and everything in it's place. Once that is done, I will decide on a paint color, purchase the paint and put it on the walls rather than having it sit in the can staring back at me whenever I walk by. After that, I'll be able to see how much space I have to work with so I can take measurements and decide what I need to purchase in order to make the space more efficient. Instead of waiting around for me to have the perfect office, I will create a space that works perfect for what I need it to do now to get me started back at designing, sewing and writing.
I'm also going to revamp my vision board to reflect more of who I am and where I want to be. The first one was great in helping me get started in thinking about how I wanted my life to be, but the new one will be more focused on enjoying what I currently have while building up to the other things I want. I also need to make sure it is put in a proper place on the wall so I can see it everyday and internalize what it represents.
The power of your words helps you remember the power that you possess within as well. They remind you that while you may lose focus sometimes, you can always find your way back and be stronger and more determined than you were before. The power of my words along with the strength of my actions will help me get to where I am meant to be.
Sincerely,
Ebony
(Conquering the world, one stylish step at a time)
~Napoleon Hill
So once again, it has been awhile since I have posted to my blog and rather than give my usual apologies and fall into the trap of possibly not posting again for awhile, I will instead say that I have seen the errors of my ways and will work to be more diligent about posting.
It's amazing how powerful words can be in helping you to overcome obstacles, refocus on what's important, or see something that you weren't able to see while you were living your life. I have always been a fond believer of writing down how you feel which is why I started this blog in the first place. I wanted this to be my place of refuge where I could write down the fears that I have when it comes to pursuing my dreams, the accomplishments I make when I let go of that fear and take a chance, and the setbacks that I might experience along the way.
That being said, I always felt that whatever I wrote had to be perfect. It had to have this profound feeling to it in order for me to feel that the message had been conveyed the way I thought it should be. Having the mentality that it had to be "perfect" has prevented me from posting some stuff that I now realize is amazing just because it came from my thoughts and how I feel about certain things. Waiting around for things to be perfect and for me to have accomplished a certain thing only leads to these long gaps between my posts. I can't expect people to support and encourage me when I'm not giving them insight as to where I'm at in the process.
While looking to purchase my home, one of my main requests was to have a space that I could solely dedicate as an office/sewing space. While I would have loved a large space, the space in the house I ended up purchasing wasn't big, but I knew that it had potential. Unfortunately, it became the catch all room for when other rooms were being utilized or when company was coming over and I could just close the door and pretend it didn't exist.
Yesterday I sat in that room and saw that not only was I cluttering up a room with unnecessary items, I was also blocking the one place where my creativity was supposed to be allowed to explore and not be held back. I've been debating on what paint color to choose to the point that there is no paint on the wall. I've been deciding on the perfect desk to get to the point that my sewing machine is still in it's carrying case and the folding table has become a second make shift catch all space. I went to Ikea yesterday in an attempt to purchase a desk and while I saw a couple of nice ones, my mind kept going back to the clutter that was already in the office, which made it harder to imagine anything in there.
So the plan for this week is to tackle the office head on. A place for everything and everything in it's place. Once that is done, I will decide on a paint color, purchase the paint and put it on the walls rather than having it sit in the can staring back at me whenever I walk by. After that, I'll be able to see how much space I have to work with so I can take measurements and decide what I need to purchase in order to make the space more efficient. Instead of waiting around for me to have the perfect office, I will create a space that works perfect for what I need it to do now to get me started back at designing, sewing and writing.
I'm also going to revamp my vision board to reflect more of who I am and where I want to be. The first one was great in helping me get started in thinking about how I wanted my life to be, but the new one will be more focused on enjoying what I currently have while building up to the other things I want. I also need to make sure it is put in a proper place on the wall so I can see it everyday and internalize what it represents.
The power of your words helps you remember the power that you possess within as well. They remind you that while you may lose focus sometimes, you can always find your way back and be stronger and more determined than you were before. The power of my words along with the strength of my actions will help me get to where I am meant to be.
Sincerely,
Ebony
(Conquering the world, one stylish step at a time)
Monday, October 12, 2009
The Perception of Passion
"Passion - There are qualities which one must possess to
win...definiteness of purpose, knowledge of what one wants, and a
burning desire to posses it.
I recently received a housewarming gift that had these words at the bottom. Without knowing it, the person who gave it to me struck a chord. The picture combined with the words proved to be quite overwhelming to me. It affirmed that the passion I have both spoken and unspoken is exuding out of me to the point that others are able to see it and believe in it. It's one thing to find your passion and pursue it, but to have those around you feel the passion and encourage it is saying something.
To me it says that you not only have to have passion, but you must believe in it to the point that when others see you, they see the aura of your passion as well. The sheer mention of your passion delights you to the point that people you encounter begin searching for what their passion is in order to reach that same feeling.
To have passion is to view the world as an adventure rather than a chore. You wake up with a renewed spirit ready to seize the day, not just the moment. Passion helps you recover quicker when you're sick in fear that you're missing out on doing something that you love. Passion makes sure that you're never alone. It is the invisible partner that will stand beside you to coach you, take your hand to help you move forward, and stand behind you to help you when you feel like standing
still.
Once you let your passion have a voice, it will not let you stifle it without putting up a fight. Ignoring your passion is equivalent to losing a piece of what makes up who you are. Little by little, not having passion begins to eat away at your core and you find yourself at battle trying to figure out why you're not happy.
Passion may not at first pay you financially, but the emotional rewards you reap far exceed any monetary value you place on it. Passion in its truest form will not expect anything more than what it knows you need, want and are capable of doing. While doubt and fear may try to overcome your thoughts, staying true to your passion will help you see the fear and doubt, acknowledge it for what it is and move on.
Find your passion, change your thoughts and your perception of life will amaze you. The perception of passion, what a great and wonderful thing to view in all it's glory.
Sincerely,
Ebony
(Conquering the world, one stylish step at a time)
win...definiteness of purpose, knowledge of what one wants, and a
burning desire to posses it.
I recently received a housewarming gift that had these words at the bottom. Without knowing it, the person who gave it to me struck a chord. The picture combined with the words proved to be quite overwhelming to me. It affirmed that the passion I have both spoken and unspoken is exuding out of me to the point that others are able to see it and believe in it. It's one thing to find your passion and pursue it, but to have those around you feel the passion and encourage it is saying something.
To me it says that you not only have to have passion, but you must believe in it to the point that when others see you, they see the aura of your passion as well. The sheer mention of your passion delights you to the point that people you encounter begin searching for what their passion is in order to reach that same feeling.
To have passion is to view the world as an adventure rather than a chore. You wake up with a renewed spirit ready to seize the day, not just the moment. Passion helps you recover quicker when you're sick in fear that you're missing out on doing something that you love. Passion makes sure that you're never alone. It is the invisible partner that will stand beside you to coach you, take your hand to help you move forward, and stand behind you to help you when you feel like standing
still.
Once you let your passion have a voice, it will not let you stifle it without putting up a fight. Ignoring your passion is equivalent to losing a piece of what makes up who you are. Little by little, not having passion begins to eat away at your core and you find yourself at battle trying to figure out why you're not happy.
Passion may not at first pay you financially, but the emotional rewards you reap far exceed any monetary value you place on it. Passion in its truest form will not expect anything more than what it knows you need, want and are capable of doing. While doubt and fear may try to overcome your thoughts, staying true to your passion will help you see the fear and doubt, acknowledge it for what it is and move on.
Find your passion, change your thoughts and your perception of life will amaze you. The perception of passion, what a great and wonderful thing to view in all it's glory.
Sincerely,
Ebony
(Conquering the world, one stylish step at a time)
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Imagine That
"We always attract into our lives whatever we think about most, believe most strongly, expect on the deepest level, and imagine most vividly"
-Shakti Gawain
As far back as I can remember, one of the things that I use to think about most was growing up to become a fashion designer. I believed it to be true with every fiber of my being and expected to be successful. What I didn't imagine, was that life would somehow find a way to intervene and put obstacles in my way. What I believed to be obstacles at the time, I now view as things that happened to prepare me for the skills it would take to not only dream, but to be able to take action.
Not too long ago, I put together a vision board. I had been hearing the term for quite some time and thought it would be fun to try. It's amazing what you go through trying to figure out what truly matters to you most and what makes you happy. My vision board included both pictures and words to describe what makes me move, have passion and take pause. Completing the vision board allowed me to say out loud who I am now and where I want to be in the future. I have left some open space on the board since I know that I am always finding new things that excite me and would like to add them to the board.
One of the first things that came to fruition after completing the board, was the purchase of my first home. The home I have on the board was of my dream home, which while it may not look like the house I'm in now, it is the beginning of what is to come. I can look at the board every day and know that if I continue to work hard and stay focused, that someday, the house on the board, will be the house that I build. The board also gave me the freedom to say that no matter how hard people say it's going to be or how scared I get, that I have to follow my dream of becoming a fashion designer and to someday own my own boutique. I know that life will find a way to intervene, but I will find a way to overcome.
I've started attending fashion events and making connections that help to invigorate me and find my way back to the creativity I pushed aside. I now eagerly await the arrival of every fashion magazine that I've subscribed to so that I can flip through the pages and marvel at what fashion is truly all about. To me, fashion is about expressing yourself through the use of fabric formed together to create pieces that are a reflection of what art is to you. It's a way of letting your creative ideas wander around like like walking pieces of art.
My passion lies in designing dresses. While I can draw other things, my hand naturally wants to create a stunning masterpiece that wows the crowd. I've tried to fight it telling myself that dresses are too hard of a market, but I can't deny that it's where my natural talent lies. So intead of working against it, I will find a way to work with it. If there are no events that warrant someone to wear my dresses, then I will create an event. No longer will I tell myself no when I haven't fully exhausted all other options.
I feel like I did when I was younger. Letting my imagination run wild and not setting limits has opened up the floodgates of creativity for me and the sheer excitement alone is enough to have me floating on a cloud. The thought of being able to draw and sew has made the days more joyful than they already were. My sons love to watch as I take a blank piece of paper and add life to it. I love to see their eyes sparkle with admiration to see their Mother doing something that she loves. It's an indescribable feeling.
In order to attract what I want, I now think it, believe it, expect it and imagine it as often as I want and need to. Imagine that!
Sincerely,
Ebony
(Conquering the world, one stylish step at a time)
-Shakti Gawain
As far back as I can remember, one of the things that I use to think about most was growing up to become a fashion designer. I believed it to be true with every fiber of my being and expected to be successful. What I didn't imagine, was that life would somehow find a way to intervene and put obstacles in my way. What I believed to be obstacles at the time, I now view as things that happened to prepare me for the skills it would take to not only dream, but to be able to take action.
Not too long ago, I put together a vision board. I had been hearing the term for quite some time and thought it would be fun to try. It's amazing what you go through trying to figure out what truly matters to you most and what makes you happy. My vision board included both pictures and words to describe what makes me move, have passion and take pause. Completing the vision board allowed me to say out loud who I am now and where I want to be in the future. I have left some open space on the board since I know that I am always finding new things that excite me and would like to add them to the board.
One of the first things that came to fruition after completing the board, was the purchase of my first home. The home I have on the board was of my dream home, which while it may not look like the house I'm in now, it is the beginning of what is to come. I can look at the board every day and know that if I continue to work hard and stay focused, that someday, the house on the board, will be the house that I build. The board also gave me the freedom to say that no matter how hard people say it's going to be or how scared I get, that I have to follow my dream of becoming a fashion designer and to someday own my own boutique. I know that life will find a way to intervene, but I will find a way to overcome.
I've started attending fashion events and making connections that help to invigorate me and find my way back to the creativity I pushed aside. I now eagerly await the arrival of every fashion magazine that I've subscribed to so that I can flip through the pages and marvel at what fashion is truly all about. To me, fashion is about expressing yourself through the use of fabric formed together to create pieces that are a reflection of what art is to you. It's a way of letting your creative ideas wander around like like walking pieces of art.
My passion lies in designing dresses. While I can draw other things, my hand naturally wants to create a stunning masterpiece that wows the crowd. I've tried to fight it telling myself that dresses are too hard of a market, but I can't deny that it's where my natural talent lies. So intead of working against it, I will find a way to work with it. If there are no events that warrant someone to wear my dresses, then I will create an event. No longer will I tell myself no when I haven't fully exhausted all other options.
I feel like I did when I was younger. Letting my imagination run wild and not setting limits has opened up the floodgates of creativity for me and the sheer excitement alone is enough to have me floating on a cloud. The thought of being able to draw and sew has made the days more joyful than they already were. My sons love to watch as I take a blank piece of paper and add life to it. I love to see their eyes sparkle with admiration to see their Mother doing something that she loves. It's an indescribable feeling.
In order to attract what I want, I now think it, believe it, expect it and imagine it as often as I want and need to. Imagine that!
Sincerely,
Ebony
(Conquering the world, one stylish step at a time)
Saturday, September 12, 2009
"If I should die before I wake"...
I pray that I will have lived a life filled with love, happiness and passion. I pray that I will not have wasted precious time worrying about what if and more time asking why not.
The best gift other than life itself, is to enjoy it. There will always be bills that need to be paid, people who are negative and want to bring you to their level and obstacles that test your strength and will. But with that also comes the ability to live within your means and still have abundance, positive people who always lift you out of the darkness and paths that appear once you've climbed, jumped and hurdled your way past things that stand in your way.
I want to live a life that causes the deepest wrinkles when I'm older. They will be the sign of all the laughs that I have shared and all the times I said yes without letting fear get the best of me.
I haven't experienced the loss of someone since I was 13. That changed this week with the passing of my Father's wife. It was an experience that has rocked me to the core. For the longest time, I have lived in fear of death. It is a finale that I could never come to terms with...until now. With her passing, I saw firsthand how each day is not promised to you. You can't put things off in hopes that you will get to it another time.
I want my sons to be able to miss me, but also smile at the thought that I lived the life that made me wake up and go to sleep with a smile on my face and joy in my heart. I tell them to reach for the stars and yet I myself have stopped reaching. I've put up this imaginary hand that taps me everytime I begin to attempt to reach. It sounds silly, but it's true.
I have become paralyzed by fear and it is slowly crushing my spirit. I am slowly forgetting what it feels like to be so passionate about something, that you only see your goal and no one can penetrate that feeling. That is not how I want to be remembered.
I want to experience as much as I can and enjoy the little things just as much as the big things. I don't want to stand aside and let others take the stage. It's up to me to set, follow and determine my destiny.
The best gift other than life itself, is to enjoy it. There will always be bills that need to be paid, people who are negative and want to bring you to their level and obstacles that test your strength and will. But with that also comes the ability to live within your means and still have abundance, positive people who always lift you out of the darkness and paths that appear once you've climbed, jumped and hurdled your way past things that stand in your way.
I want to live a life that causes the deepest wrinkles when I'm older. They will be the sign of all the laughs that I have shared and all the times I said yes without letting fear get the best of me.
I haven't experienced the loss of someone since I was 13. That changed this week with the passing of my Father's wife. It was an experience that has rocked me to the core. For the longest time, I have lived in fear of death. It is a finale that I could never come to terms with...until now. With her passing, I saw firsthand how each day is not promised to you. You can't put things off in hopes that you will get to it another time.
I want my sons to be able to miss me, but also smile at the thought that I lived the life that made me wake up and go to sleep with a smile on my face and joy in my heart. I tell them to reach for the stars and yet I myself have stopped reaching. I've put up this imaginary hand that taps me everytime I begin to attempt to reach. It sounds silly, but it's true.
I have become paralyzed by fear and it is slowly crushing my spirit. I am slowly forgetting what it feels like to be so passionate about something, that you only see your goal and no one can penetrate that feeling. That is not how I want to be remembered.
I want to experience as much as I can and enjoy the little things just as much as the big things. I don't want to stand aside and let others take the stage. It's up to me to set, follow and determine my destiny.
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